Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I always thought the snooze button on an alarm was for, you know, allowing someone to snooze before the inevitable getting-out-of-a-warm-bed thing happened.
You know the feeling. You’re all snuggled down enjoying a nice dream about [insert name of your favourite celebrity crush here] or chocolate brownie ice cream – it’s between those two options – the alarm goes off and for a second you’re filled with despair at the thought of having to leave your cocoon.
Then you remember the snooze function, hastily press the button and bury yourself under the covers.
I only tend to press the snooze button once. I find having that 10-minute snooze time allows me to wake up gradually for when the next alarm goes off and I get out of bed.
Snoozing gone wrong
So, what’s my beef with this whole snooze business? Well, I’m rather perturbed that on the odd occasion my snoozing has taken a bruising. Some mornings, the whole alarm/snooze thing has been thrown totally out of whack and gone as follows:
Alarm sounds. I lean over and press snooze.
A few seconds silence.
Husband: “Ugh, I’ve been awake for the past hour”.
ME: “Uh huh” (I really don’t appreciate him telling me he’s been awake for the last hour. I’m nice and snuggly and would like another 10 minutes of that, thank you very much).
A few seconds silence.
Husband: “So, I had this really random dream”.
ME: “Hmm”. (If I sound disinterested he’ll just stop talking and let me go back to sleep).
Husband: [Goes onto describe the dream in agonisingly minute detail].
ME: [Thinking]. I’m trying to snooze here, I distinctly remember pressing snooze. He knows I always press snooze. Maybe he’ll stop talking in a minute.
Husband continues talking for way over one minute.
Snooze aborted. I get out of bed in a right grump!
You know those times in life when your expectations are high, you have a huge sense of anticipation only for it to be snatched from you at the last moment?
Like, opening what appears to be a bag filled to the brim with kettle chips, only to find that most of the bag actually contains air. I don’t know about you but I’m not keen on air; it has no bite.
Or, how about tucking into a jam donut and realising there’s little more than a teaspoon of jam inside. The crushing disappointment will never leave me 😦
However, nothing comes close to having my snooze time interrupted by someone recollecting their brain’s night-time shenanigans. Tell me all about it while I’m eating my morning porridge, tell me about it while I’m feeding the fur-babies or while I’m brushing my teeth, but not during snooze time!
By the way, if you want to read more husband-wife exchanges then get yourself over to the blog Actual Conversations With My Husband, which is absolutely hilarious!
Right, I’m off for a nap!
What things are sacred to you that you’d hate to have interrupted?!